I evacuated Afghanistan with my unborn child. My husband was left behind.
Negina wrestles with the joy of her miracle baby and the turmoil of her husband’s uncertain fate
Written by: Negina J. and Sheridan Block
A bubbling joy rose in Negina’s stomach. Her husband’s eyes lit up and a huge smile stretched across his face. The pair erupted in tears of joy and laughter as they celebrated the good news in their Kabul home. After five years of trying and praying, the young Afghan couple would finally have a baby.
They began to dream. Everything they could hope for started to take shape in Negina’s womb as they wondered, would it be a boy or a girl?
Suddenly, it was September.
Negina laid back on the examination table of a clinic in Indiana. Her body refused to relax as the technician rubbed a cold, thick gel across her belly. Her eyes were locked on the ultrasound screen, but she only saw flashes of the horrors from the last three weeks. She didn’t hear the technician announce the news at first. Her brother-in-law, who lives in Connecticut, was on the phone translating for her. The technician spoke again. Congratulations, it’s a boy. Negina burst into tears.
Of course she was happy to hear the news, even more so to know that the baby was okay. But her husband should be here, she thought, they should be celebrating together. Instead, he was stuck in Afghanistan. Left behind and hiding for his life.
A frantic escape from Afghanistan
Last summer, the Taliban took control of Afghanistan. Their final offensive campaign coincided with the US military withdrawal, sending coalition forces in a frenzy to evacuate over 123,000 people in a two-week crunch. The majority of evacuees were Afghans employed by the US and its allies during the 20-year war. They worked with troops, diplomats and aid workers, serving as interpreters, drivers or office assistants at embassies. Because of their association with the US, many were threatened to be kidnapped or killed; these threats often extended to family members as well.
Negina’s husband worked at the US embassy for almost two years. He also received threats for his work. Once, his neighbor — the son of a Taliban figure — told him, “When the Taliban come, watch what we’ll do to you.”
As the Taliban began to advance on Kabul, the threats increased. Taliban were going door-to-door looking for anyone who had worked with the Americans. Negina and her husband knew they had to get out. Not just for the sake of their own lives, but for that of their baby.
On Aug. 15, the first day of evacuations, the couple rushed to the airport. The crowd was thick with other Afghans desperate to escape. Negina and her husband spent three days at the airport trying to get through. As they squeezed their way through the crowd, Taliban fighters batted people back. They beat men and women, forcing them to retreat despite giving public assurances that citizens with travel authorization will be allowed to leave the country safely.
During their second attempt, Taliban fighters jumped them. Negina felt the sting of a pipe hit the back of her shoulder, and the couple were pushed back away from the gates. They spent the night on the airport floor which was covered in dirt, trash and whatever else people had left behind. Negina could hardly sleep as her shoulder throbbed from the assault. It was so hot, she was so thirsty. She desperately wanted a sip of water so her throat wouldn’t be so dry, but they couldn’t leave if they had any hope of getting out.
On Aug. 17, they made a third attempt. This time, the violence was much more severe. The Taliban began beating and whipping people in the crowd, and the crowd pressed harder. In the chaos of it all, Negina was thrown to the ground. She curled into herself trying to protect her belly as people stepped over and on her. Helping her back up, her husband pulled her out of the crowd.
Enough was enough. It was too dangerous. He decided they would not attempt to evacuate again.
“We had really high hopes of getting out of Afghanistan in the three days we spent at the airport,” said Negina.
Back at home, it was a sleepless night for the couple. Was there any hope of escaping? Or would they live in hiding forever? What about the baby? Realizing any hope for their baby’s future was better than the present reality, Negina’s husband agreed they would try to flee one last time.
On Aug. 18, they returned to the airport. They didn’t bring anything with them; after all, after three failed attempts they hardly expected the fourth to be successful. They felt a strange mix of hopefulness and hopelessness.
Making their way past checkpoints, they arrived just outside one of the airport gates. The crowd was swarming with men, women and children. People were climbing over barricades, children were held overhead, passports and papers were waved in an effort to be identified and pulled in by US soldiers. As they crept closer to gate, the Taliban erupted in violence. Negina’s husband determinedly pushed her through toward the Americans. As he pushed, someone grabbed him and pulled him back. A sudden blow to the head from the butt of a gun sent him stumbling back into the crowd. He ran in retreat. Negina lost sight of him.
Pressing on she managed to reach the soldiers. She looked back for any sign of her husband, she screamed out his name. No response. Turning to the soldiers, her words fumbled out as she tried to tell them about her husband. She shoved his paperwork into their hands, begging them to pull him out. They pulled her through, assuring her they would find him and bring him to her; but she had to keep moving.
The plane took off. Later that night, Negina was escorted off the plane with hundreds of other Afghans on a US base in Germany. Her husband didn’t make it through.
She couldn’t sleep or eat. It was cold and she didn’t have a coat. When she finally heard from her husband after two days of disconnect, she saw the cuts, bruises and swelling on his face. The stress of it all made her sick, she started throwing up. Worried about her pregnancy, she begged the soldiers to get her out. One week later, she was in a refugee camp in Indiana where she was hospitalized and treated.
Praying for the uncertain future
Negina is 8 months pregnant now and living with her brother-in-law and other relatives in Connecticut. Her husband managed to flee Afghanistan, despite the Taliban closing its borders; but he remains in hiding. Negina and her family are exhausting all options trying to get him out.
They turned to resettlement agencies for help. At every appointment, they’re told the agencies will do something; but Negina loses a little bit of hope with each hanging promise.
She knows she’s lucky to have escaped, and even luckier to be living with family in the states instead of among strangers in a refugee camp or a military base. Still, she struggles to be content when her trauma is still haunting. She can think of nothing but the safety of her husband. She’s afraid someone might inform the Taliban of his whereabouts. She’s worried that without his documentation and paperwork, he’ll never be able to leave. Sometimes at night, she thinks about him so much that she doesn’t even realize she’s crying.
“It’s the only thing I think about. I’m so worried about him and what will happen,” she said. “It’s my hope that he will be able to come. Maybe then I can focus on other things, but for now I’m stressed with worry about him.”
The baby is due soon and Negina can only pray that her husband will be there to meet his son, to hold him and kiss him. In that precious moment, the couple will be able to see all their hopes and dreams, the better future they’ve been praying for, will come to life in their baby boy.
Inshallah, she says.
Update, December 2022:
In February 2022, Negina gave birth to a healthy baby boy.
Advocates in the US have been urging Congress to pass the Afghan Adjustment Act, a bipartisan bill that would provide a pathway to lawful permanent residency for thousands of Afghan nationals who have resettled in the states since the Taliban took control of Afghanistan in 2021. The bill would help Afghans like Negina and her husband as they go through the US’ complex legal process for resettlement. The bill has not yet been passed. Afghanistan continues to face ongoing humanitarian crises and uncertainty.
